Grow The Fuck up!
…Rude awakening
The good book tells us that “We must put away childish ways”. These words weren’t spoken without intent, sadly it’s taken me this long to realize it. Nothing fills a young person with dread like the reality of getting older, we know it’s inevitable, yet we dread it because subconsciously we wish we can stay this young forever. Upon completion of our journey round the sun, we’re happy, “Yay! It’s my birthday”, but afterwards, when the music fades, the balloons falls and the freeloaders are gone, what follows is that wind of reality that makes us go “Damn! I’m getting old”. Subtle, yet striking revelation.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man… For many, the road to becoming begins early, and for some, the understanding of the truth of this reality hits late. For me, it happened in the beginning of chapter 25. Suddenly I’m staring down a barrel, doing my best to not lose my shit, coming to terms with this haunting epiphany, true but scary.
Wishful thinking, that’s what followed the next few hours after my sudden enlightenment. If you’re privy to the conversations that go on in my head you’d call me crazy, then again, I guess you have to be crazy to change your world. I couldn’t wrap my head around it, so I resort to fictitious creations of the imagination. Nonetheless, my mind, like a well-oiled machine working at optimum capacity, didn’t default in telling me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Accountability, taking responsibility for oneself and actions is the most important part of growing up and also the most difficult, I guess nothing good comes easy. Coming from a world where all your inadequacies can be shoved under the “Youthful exuberance” carpet, and walking into another universe where tardiness isn’t funny anymore and that bland apology just won’t cut it, an eco-system where good isn’t good enough, you constantly have to better yesterday’s good. A place where responsibility is not just a word, it’s an action, where the issues of today are no longer tomorrow’s problem, they’re yours, now and till you deal with them. A life where procrastination is no longer a friend, but a foe… It’s hard, overwhelming.
Ease is a greater threat to success than hard work, learned that from Mr Denzel and I’ve always carried it with me. I have a feeling I’m going to need those words somewhere down the road. I’m not going to pretend like I have it all figure out, quite certain I wouldn’t know what I’m doing half the time, and that’s okay. As long as I consistently put in the work into figuring it out, I know I’ll be okay.
I sometimes wonder if one is a man simply because he was born male or does the title have to be earned? If it’s the latter, then have I earned mine? Will I earn mine? That’s a question only future me can answer, I look forward to finding out.
So let’s grow the fuck up!
